Humans are obsessed with their future.

We want to know what will happen tomorrow, the day, month, year or decades after that.  We read horoscopes, visit fortune tellers and try to predict the stock market.  We are less capable adults if we don’t plan ahead for rainy days, education funds and retirement.

I spent a good deal of time stressing and worrying about what my son would take in university.  He was tracking towards a degree in kinesiology when he put the brakes on at the last minute and decided that he didn’t want to do that.  He picked up a computer science credit in high school in a victory lap and headed off for a Bachelor of IT the following September.

I just about had kittens thinking about him working in the very industry that I was striving to stay afloat in.  But, it is his life and his choice, so I bit my tongue, smiled and did everything possible to make his first year a success.  It was time to focus on him as the last nine months had been all about me and my cancer treatment.  I had just finished my chemo for Triple Negative Breast Cancer and Rang the Bell

I had delivered speeches on a transforming industry, with calls to action to disrupt and innovate … or die.  And prided myself on being a “forward thinker”.

I’d roll my eyes at you if you said “We’ve always done it this way” in my prescence.

Yet how do we grasp the nebulous idea of our “future”?

We don’t.  We build it from fragments of yesterday and today.  But then we are looking at it “the way we’ve looked at the past.”  If I look at tomorrow through the filters of yesterday, I panic.

“What if?  WHAT IF?  WHAT IF???”  I could spend all of today and all of my tomorrows on “What if?” … Get it?

I have to let go of this past that I am so heavily invested in.

Because I created it.  And … in some cases (notice how difficult this is for me to admit), royally fucked it up.

I love inspirational quotes and collect them on Pinterest.  One of my favourite quotes is:

I only see the past … but it isn’t my future.

The Fox

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