I don’t know why I needed a good cry today.  Or – perhaps – it is better to say I don’t know which reason was the catalyst that opened the floodgates.

I moved into a Sales Executive role and had to bring home a big win for 3Q and I delivered, despite everyone telling me it wasn’t going to happen.  All those minute details which had to be orchestrated to make it happen, swirled together like magic.

Despite the stress, we had fun.  The calls were full of laughter and comraderie.  I infused as much of my own fearlessness as I could into the team.  We hit what is called “Flow”.

Even when inevitable crumbs slipped through the cracks, we made jokes.

“@$#%*ing hell!  This is like asking a 30-year-old to wash his hands after going to the washroom.”

Eleventy billion phone calls were made.  Double that number of texts and messages.  “It just wouldn’t be quarter end without the chaos,” I said.  And I realized that love it.  It’s the thrill of the chase, and a game that I plan to win.

I was high on success … but cautious.  I’ve learned that it ain’t over, till it’s over.  So I pulled myself back down to earth and turned my attention towards 4Q planning.  In the words of a former executive “What have you done for me lately?”  You are only as good as your last win.

Back down here on earth, I watched my sisters sit, stand and cry in disbelief. The pinnacle of the #metoo movement had built into a roaring cresendo.  I have no idea who started the blackout movement – or what their true intentions were – but, seriously?  Now is not the time to sit down and shut up.  That’s exactly what “they” want.

NEVER silence yourself.

Needing to recollect my own strength, I’ve done nothing but putter today.  I’ve drained my own batteries and recharged.  Read, write, eat, drink tea and coffee and back to the beginning.  The most strenuous activities were shuffling dishes back to the kitchen and walking the dogs.  Despite what kind of day *I* am having, they have to go outside 365 days a year.

I’ve created spreadsheets to manage the mountain of data I have on each writing project, forcing myself to finally start writing that book.  I’ve sorted out my inbox to figure out what I need to do and where I need to be for October.  I need to be in three places at once.  I wrote in my journal for the first time since September 10th.

I poked around on Pinterest and found this gem.  This is why the tears came.

I wish you enough hope to have happiness.

I wish you enough health to have hope.

I wish you enough time with your loved ones.

I wish you enough kindness and consideration.

I wish you enough small failures that lead to big wins.

I wish you enough days to do what you planned to do.

I wish you enough faith to sustain you when all else fails.

I wish you enough strength to get through what your going through.

I wish I could give you enough of mine.

I wish.

The Fox

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© 2018

P.S.  I am looking forward to October and 4Q!  Bring it on!  The writing may be sporadic because it’s the busiest time of year and I have my UofT writing class, but I will be here!