She laughed as she read his comment, and handed the phone back to her dinner companion.
“When he gets his own shit together, then he can call me a coward.”
Derek* chuckled and agreed. “It’s amazing who cries the loudest. Those are the cowards who have the most to hide, don’t they?”
“Really, they are!”
“Nothing like biting your own tongue.”
Ana Monnar said “Cowards dare others to do what they themselves do not dare to do.”
How true. I not only dared to do it but posted it word for word. It’s out there for all to see. Not pissing in the corner of the bathroom.
Having the courage to be honest and authentic … now there is a lost virtue. Authoring true words publicly puts you in an incredibly vulnerable place, open to critics too scared of your truths. What they take out of your piece … is a crumbled slice of themselves. It’s read through their lens.
It takes guts to forge your own personal brand away from the herd. When you look back, you realize they were all just crumpled pieces of paper blowing in the wind. I have always had a backbone and will always stand up for myself. When provoked, I won’t take your shit. I know my lash out was brutal, and I will correct my course. Can you correct yours? I can look in the mirror and self-actualize. But not because you said so. For me.
You see, I have explored my psyche enough to know where my anger comes from. I do work to understand myself and balance ego and humility. I don’t aways control my mouth, because I am not perfect. And I’ve been through hell this past year.
Nor are you perfect.
Imagine me whispering stories of your cowardice in the vapid corners of the gossip whore’s cottage. All those little things that you work so hard to hide, which are actually quite are visible. And discussed. Did you know that? None of you are safe from eachother, which is why I abandoned that group. The circle keeps talking in circles. Perchance it was me who made you felt unsafe, but my words are public. Loyalty is a lifestyle, not a password to the next party. I bet my life that my secrets were sold for an invitation. Expecting loyalty while displaying disloyalty doesn’t look well on you. Eat your own words.
The reality is … I have dared to find my voice and follow my dreams. The last step was letting go. Of expectations of you. And of me.
And I am better off.
Derek tapped my plate to bring me back to the here and now.
“You know you made it when you have haters,” he reminded me.
Fear. What do they fear? Their shadow. It cannot be detached, and my spotlight makes it visible. Look in the mirror and when all your shit is dealt with, and you have walked a mile in my shoes, then you can call me a coward.
Until then, you can kiss my ass. I don’t need your understanding where I am heading. Buh bye!
Special thanks to all my haters: Success & Hate
*Name(s) changed to protect the innocent!
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