Yesterday, I received the message twice from two separate sources that I need to take a year off to work on me.
I began listening to Andy Stanley’s Your Move sermons a few weeks ago. I’m not really following them chronologically or in any particular order. Yesterday while out walking my dogs, I decided to put the Beats in my ear and listen to Andy. I heard his sermon about taking a year off from dating.
Ohhhhh. A whole year? That’s a long time when you are fifty. Can we make it six months, and let me out with good behaviour? How about we back-date several months and consider that my starting point? I wasn’t convinced this would work for me … but it stuck with me. He said some very interesting things about becoming the person you want in ways that clicked.
Later that evening, while reading Facebook, a friend “liked” a link to DailyOM’s “A Year To Clear What is Holding You Back”. Since the year off was resonating within me – call it a good vibration – I followed the link to check out what they were saying. A Year to Clear is a 365 day course where each daily lesson to unwind and clear is released slowly one day at a time. I like that. So I signed up.
You can too! DailyOM’s A Year to Clear What is Holding You Back
I have to admit – and it’s not a cheat – that I already started this journey.
I am reconnecting with me.
I am reconnecting with my son.
I am getting connected to God.
I need the year to work on what’s important to me without the distraction or help (or hinderance!) of another. One of the reasons why I go to Dr. Dan is to help me get unstuck. Unstuck from old patterns. Unstuck from freezing when I should be taking a step forward. Unstuck from bad behaviours. We all have them.
My journey has progressed forward because I am a different person than I was eight months ago. I have no doubt – and I knew this the instant it happened – that my last serious relationship was blown apart by God. God knew we had to go in different directions. And that pain … that pain initiated one of the most prolific growth periods of my life. While my heart took its time to catch up, my head knew this was happening for a reason … and I never looked back.
When you are in pain, it’s difficult to look forward. You look behind. Wallow in it. Obsess about it. Wonder what if? What did I do wrong? Eventually, you realize you have to pull yourself forward. So using a technique borrowed from Dr. Dan, I learned to redirect.
Every time I was looking behind, I would say “STOP!” and try to refocus on something positive and forward thinking. I realized that it would work best for me to have a predetermined forward-focus thought. If my mind had to search for something to bring myself forward, I usually went in circles and ended up facing the wrong way. So I picked Blockchain technology. My intention was to have one forward-focus thought per day, but Blockchain technology was something concrete, and it became my dream.
So I started to study up on my dream. Read books, online articles, internal work presentations. And I asked God to help me become an expert in this technology.
And I became my dream.
The results have blown me away.
I’ve become a go-to expert on Blockchain! I’ve recorded a youtube video for my company (and received accolades from executives). I’ve delivered presentations and had customers tell me that I’ve inspired them. I’ve been invited to events to speak on the topic. I’ve been quoted in articles. And next week I get to deliver the first presentation to kick off an event. And I am stoked!
Many would say that I did this. Not God. But God doesn’t just hand you your blessing.
“I want to be a Blockchain expert.” Poof. You are a Blockchain expert.
It doesn’t work like that. You have to do your part. Ask God to show you the path you are meant to follow and begin walking in that direction.
My transformation was born out of pain. And I never would have got here if it was not for the pain. Because I had to learn to love myself best. Believe in myself. Take care of myself. So was it a bad thing or a good thing?
I have regretted many romantic relationships, but when I look back with clarity, each man has given me something that I am thankful for. Each one over the last seven years has given me an opportunity to find my spirituality and find myself. And I thank them for that. I wish them well in their own journey, but our paths depart. Because I am meant for someone else.
I’m still becoming the person he wants to love.
I’m still a work-in-progress. Always will be. So I will at least start the journey forward … And let’s see where I am November 5, 2017.
Here’s where I want to be:
- In the best physical, emotional & spiritual shape of my life.
- At the height of my career – and feeling secure that I can support myself and Matthew.
- Written or writing a best-seller book.
- Financial freedom.
- Buying a beautiful home with a pool – I’m very home based.
- Ms. Right.
Please join me on the journey.